Friday, March 11, 2016

Thinking About Shadows

Wow! It's been several months since I wrote on here. A lot has happened since October, including several major holidays and birthdays, including mine! I even started a post in January but never finished it. I would say "That's the story of my life. Never finishing anything." but everybody's lives are busy. I often miss milestones because I'm too busy focusing on something else. I'm shining in certain areas while casting shadows in others.
c/o Flash of White Photography

Now, I cannot and will not take credit for that. Ruth Soukup, author of Living Well Spending Less, recently brought that to my attention. I received my weekly subscription email from her and that idea really resonated with me. As a mom, I thought I was supposed to be SuperMom, able to do everything. However, I'm realizing that is not possible. After reading Ruth's email, I began to think back over the past few months and really look at what I was shining on and what I was casting a shadow on. Here is what I came up with...

The months leading up to Christmas was strictly focused on work. I work in the accounting business so the end of the year is a big deal for us. Now don't get me wrong, I was focusing on my family but the majority of my light was on work. I was working 9 hour days, stressing about how the company would look financially at the end of the year. I was also working long hours to make sure we would have enough money to buy the girls all the presents they wanted. We were also taking a family vacation so I had to make sure my job was ready for me to leave and would be able to survive while I was gone. I was tired a lot and didn't really enjoy spending time with my family. I even missed spending time with my brother and his family when they came in for Christmas. Work consumed my life and my light.

Then the New Year was here! My New Year's Resolution was to be nicer and have a better attitude.... I wonder why. :-) With that thought in mind, I decided it was time to change my perspective. I did not, in any way, do this on my own. God was pushing at me like nothing I had ever felt before. He was changing me in ways that I couldn't see at the time. He made me realize that my family comes before my job. I was scared to make that adjustment but looking back now, I'm so glad I did. I started working normal hours, with the occasional long hours at the end of the month (gotta love accounting). I was happy and relaxed. God showed me that my light was needed at home and not at work. I couldn't see why, at the time but God didn't take long to turn our lives 90 degrees.

My husband, Jeff, transitioned jobs. While this is normal in our lives, this job requires travel especially in the beginning. I've dealt with travel. I am a Marine's wife. But that was 5 years and 1 kid less ago! I got used to having him around to help. Now he was going to be gone roughly 15 out of the next 30 days. I was not prepared! God, of course, knew all this was coming so He had prepared me, even though I didn't fully know it. We are half way through this transition period, and its going better than I expected. I'm learning that my girls need me more when their daddy is gone so I'm enjoying the extra attention, a little. I do have help so I'm not in this 100% alone. We will make it and I'm not worried now.

God is amazing! He knows what we will go through and He will prepare us for it. He never ceases to amaze me and He shouldn't. As Ephesians 3:20 says,
       "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

He is working in me and preparing me for what He has planned and guess what.... I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE WHAT IT IS!!!! He changes me and my light for His purposes in my life. God is amazing and I love it when I fully remember that.

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